Pretty funny website

Got linked to this website from the CR off topic forum... some of the sayings are pretty dumb but I got a good laugh out of a few of them.

Here are a few above average ones:

"Today, a stoplight turned yellow as I was approaching it. I was about to go through but saw a cop, panicked, and slammed on the brakes. I ended up in the middle of the intersection and had to reverse. Soon the light turned green, and I stepped on the gas. My car was still in reverse. FML"

"Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend across the street. I was walking with a girl whom I'd been hooking up with and wanted to make my ex-girlfriend jealous. I kissed her and she immediately smacked me. I got a "ha-ha" text message from my ex. FML"

"Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I say "So just the one blanket then?" She replies "Those are my pants.....not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML"

"Today, there was a luncheon at work in another dept. We all went to get some free food and see new faces. There was a hot girl walking around chatting. I grabbed my buddy's arm and told him there was a "nice pair of tits here" He saw her. It's his daughter. She's a new-hire... running HR. FML"

"Today, I walked downstairs in a new outfit, after dieting for 3 months, and losing just over 20 pounds. My mom took one look at me and said "You'd better keep going." FML"

"Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML"

"Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML"

I also stumbled upon another one of those vids on the xtranormal.com site. This one is pretty awesome. It's like the classic conversation that occurs after you tell someone that you play online poker for a living. I've been asked so many times by friends and stuff, "ok so if I give you like 200 bucks can you double it for me?" just like in the vid, lol. Definitely worth a watch. Here's the link.