Fact of life: Sometimes poker just plain sucks

I've had a really frustrating time lately with poker. Part of me wants to blame my bad luck in pretty much all three aspects of running bad: getting sucked out on, getting coolered, and not getting paid off on my big hands... and part of me wants to blame myself for letting myself perhaps fall behind the skill curve and not putting in enough hours both playing and studying.

I just don't really understand it though... I sit back and watch some of my other professional poker player friends play and many of their styles are extremely similar to mine. I have similar though processes as them, make similar plays at the table, but for some reason or another they are just beating the tar out of the games while I've been a FPP pro the past 3 months.

I feel like I'm playing a winning style and for the most part making the right decisions... just in this short term period of 2 or 3 months I just can't seem to buy a string of 3-4 good days in a row with respectable results.

Hands like these constantly crush my soul and I'm wrong to let it mentally affect me, but it does. And more often than not, as in the example that happened earlier today I just linked to, the hands I get stacked are Vs. the fish. This, obviously, is not good... because the reason I'm AT the table in the first place is to take money from the weakest players. But I've been getting felted consistently by the worst players at the table.

I think I might actually look to get a mental coach or something because even though I KNOW the correct "Poker Mindset" sometimes I wonder if I'm even following it at all.

I'm sitting here writing this knowing that deep down inside I'm a great poker player, have won lots of money doing this, and it's been my sole source of income for over two years... but I just can't help to feel a bit defeated right now as I can barely even beat $2/4 NL ffs. I've had more than a few months where I absolutely crushed $5/10 NL in the past and I think I'm actually a better player now than I was back then. Which definitely baffles me.

But I really feel dejected and a bit distraught and for the first time in my poker career I'm sitting here wondering why I play this game. It isn't fun for me, at this particular moment. The levels of frustration I'm having with the game are canceling out any enjoyment I am getting from playing. I have had this sort of feeling before, but it's only been temporary or after just one big losing day... I normally snap out of it. However, this time it seems to be lingering over a period of a few weeks.

I came to the office today feeling good about my plan for playing 4 tables, then just proceeded to get crushed in various ways. Really disheartening. You will look at these hands and perhaps say, "standard." I agree, for the most part, but it's just so soul crushing to have this shit never end.

Vs. biggest fish at the table... my first hand of the day. FML.

Flip loss vs. a reg I had not even played with nor 3-bet before.

flop 2nd nuts vs. a massive fish and lose

my river shove here is pretty horrid probably since so many of his hands are helped by the Jack. But I felt I had the best hand almost always on the turn. I probably should have c/f the river but I didn't and another fish fattens his stack.

This was like my 10th hand of the session... happened less than 3 minutes after my KQ hand.

set no good

Looking at these hands again, it's obvious I just ran like shit this past session and am certainly fuming. I've ran bad before and I will have sessions in the future where I will run bad as well. I just need to figure out a way to not get so disheartened when I'm consistently getting crushed like this so I can just continue to put in hands while playing my best. Such a tough thing to do. I came super close to just taking my keyboard and lifting it above my head and smashing it into a million pieces on the floor today.

Whatever, fuck it. I can't get so emotional about stuff, but the pressure is higher than ever for me to win since my expenses in Chicago are significantly higher than they were in ND. I'm just going to try and forget about my shitty results lately and focus on the future and playing each hand to the best of my ability.

Off to grab a bite at Jimmy Johns...